Fred Thompson flip flops on Tea Parties

Former GOP presidential candidate and Love Boat cast member Fred Thompson took a hard line against attending tea parties, but backtracked when a photo surfaced of him at a tea party event.

Thompson's originally said, "Look, I like my women young but I draw the line at going to five year old little girls tea parties. Besides that, my current wife has a few more years before she's long enough in the tooth that I have to trade her in. Hell, she's still young enough to be the daughter of anybody else in Washington's intern/mistress."

However, Thompson was forced to explain himself though when a photo was posted online of him with several young girls, clearly playing dress up, with tea cups, saucers, and other fancy things.

"One of the friends of my little daughter or great-granddaughter asked me to come over and discuss some policy issues with a group of her friends, and I did not have the heart to say no," Thompson said.

He added, "Had I known it would be a tea party, I would not have attended, and in any case, I was certainly not there trolling for a new wife or even a one nap time stand."

Pundits across the political spectrum have said the incident may hurt his prospects if he decides to run for president again in 2012 or 2016 at the age of 98 or 102 respectively even if rumors that Isaac the bartender will join him on the ticket this time prove to be true.

Being Gopher and Being President

Some people have wondered aloud how being Gopher on Love Boat prepared Fred Thompson for his most important role: being president of the United States.

For one thing, Gopher was a problem solver. If someone wanted to avoid their ex-wife, pretend to a nun when they are actually a prostitute, or know how to kiss a girl for the first time as in the episode with Scott Baio, Gopher was always there to help.

In the same way, he was a public servant. At the beginning of every single episode, he could be seen carrying the passengers bags aboard the ship.

He was also able to deal effectively with people of all races, from the black bartender Isaac, to Asian passenger Pat Morita, to illegal immigrant Charo. In all cases, he was able to interact with them with grace and good humor while maintaining his superiority as a white man.



Needless to say, after serving so much time in uniform on a ship, Fred Thompson will be an excellent commander in chief.